Bad move

I am one of those people that believe in super natural stuff, (specially telepathy!) and when sm1 says he is psychic i believe him..cuz smtimes i believe am psychic too. i see stuff and i knw exactly what is happening and what will happen later, not exactly but i can predict the main events,, when i was younger i thought i was superman but now i knw how i can do it .. people keep repeating themselves and stories happen over and over again , same mistakes happen to different people and when i see enough signs that smthng is going to happen i know it will.maby because i read alot but i say its because fate is a serial killer...we gotta pay more attention to its pattern .
i am diving into a mistake and i know its a mistake and iv seen this mistake happen again and again ,i know exactly what is going to happen and i warned myself not to do this mistake and i warned many ppl not to do this mistake, but it appears that we all become the people we said we'll never be ,and here i am torn between the sweet high of a sin and the brain throb that indicates that my brain is cursing itself and warning my heart to stop taking over or els...
i pride myself for being a brain thinker not a heart thinker but smtimes my heart just attacks and my brain regains its power when its too late .luckily this happened far to many times and my brain came back before its too late, i can back away right now but am too daring and hopeful that it wont be a mistake ,,and am the type of girl that when she makes a mistake she makes it as bad at it can be and enjoy it more than people would , blame that on my wild nature.
i decided to let myself go , and when i make a decision i never let myself regret it so i guess since am aware it wont be impulsive and stupid...... it will be an adventure.
-KISSES

Decisions have been made & Risks will be taken

Today i had this dream that made me VERY thoughtful..i am going to die one day ,everyone is but what if i died tomorrow? i wouldn't have lived the life i wanted to live ! you see, i wanted to be a doctor i am passionate about it and it would've made my dad soooo happpy ! its his dream for me ..but when i thought deeply abt it (and watched far too many episodes of greys anatomy) i realised that medicine is a commitment, it has to be your life ,it has to be your priority , its like you are marrying someone ,you need to be soo in love with it that you don't want anything more or els you wont be a good doctor.
I simply couldn't be a doctor ! i have far too many dreams and i have too many adventures planned and to be planned... i didnt want to be JUST a doctor i wanted to be smthng more i want to fully taste life i want to see everything and do everything ..am too wild too be put in a cage! i would definitely not put my patients first, so i decided its not a good idea to be a doctor cuz if i will be one i want to be a good one, good enough to cure an incurable disease ...so it turns out i can still make my dream come true and cure a disease... by being a medical technology student !! u knw the ones in the lab taking samples from everywhere and testing them and trying to find a cure for stuff..its perfect ! cuz as it appears i was born to do this ,  my mum told me that when i was a kid i used to remove my pampers by myself and squish my poop and try to find out what it was , i was so curious and amazed!!( its nasty i know  xD )  and as i grew up i became even more curious and started to do weird stuff just to get an answer, i  always told her what i have discovered ( i am far too ashamed to tell you abt my discoveries , i discovered stuff that were already discovered i was just to young to know) and now at the age of 17 i have proposed so many theories that need to be proved (ask my frndz i always bother them with my theories xD ) soo this job is PERFECT *.*
i have many stuff i want to do before i die but i decided not to make a list mainly because i cant remember what i want xD but also bcz i think that adventure will be offered to me or will be there infront of me and i knw that i never say no to adventure... so whatever comes in my way ill do it and i am very sure that there are many cming my way cuz i said yes to my big USA adventure and we all knw USA is land of adventures...
-KISSES
P.S : just to be clear when i say adventure i dnt mean a safari or something..i mean smthng i havnt done and am not allowed to do or is dangerous to do ;) ..but a safari is one of the things i wanna do

paper-full world

am not an office person at all! , all the paperwork and the sitting and being silent is not how i want to spend my whole life !
iv been working  in this place to fill my time until i start uni come January, and there are many reasons i just wont work in an office in the future ,first of all people here mind their own business ..i want to work in a place where everyone is interested in wut the other is doing and we share food and stories from time to time but apparently ppl just want to work, when i look around ( with my laptop playing 2 broke girls and my legs snuggled into my hello kitty socks and holding my hot chocolate ) all i see is robots! you cant tell if they enjoy it but u can see that they r so drowned in it . however there is a woman next to me that keeps on talking on the phone with a dude (while doing here work !), am not sure but COME ON ..when a gurl whispers and laughs in that way she is definitely talking to her boyfriend or perhaps a dude she has a crush on ... and i think i know which dude , he comes to visit from time to time and when he comes she lights up and start to joke and laugh and she ALAWAYS makes him sit and gets him tea, and he  comes to see her for no dame reason like ones he came just to ask her how to change the typing language in his laptop ,,i knew how to do that when i was five !!
even though they are workaholics they are very friendly and helpful , specially the tea boy ,,he is so nice to me that i smtimes think he likes me ,, he is always asking me if i had lunch and he gets me water without me asking he is just SO niceeee ,,and i dnt see him being that nice to anyone but me !my family has a history of attracting Indian dudes  i wouldn't be surprised if he had a crush on me XD jk jk  he is just SO nice !
 there are two things in this place that i just adore.. the food is AH-MAZINGGGG!! i can make myself work in this place just for the food, lunch is my best time in the day i smtimes come to work at eleven so i can have lunch at 12 then leave at 1:30 xD .second thing is that  ppl suddenly crack up music and no one complains or does anything and smtimes my only friend in this place starts to sing out loud like its a friggin karaoke bar and no one utters a word , yeah i would definitely like to work in a place that doesn't mind loud music .
working here is a great experince i get money for reading books , watching series and sleeping in the prayer room and  atleast now i know that office life is not my thing ,,but i think this place has a lab near the cafeteria...hmmmm
-KISSES

I dont know

okay ya'll know am some dreamy chic who lives in another land , actually some will say am very realistic and practical ( Ghada mostley ,,maby Nada too ) but the thing is am both ..how does that work ? I dont know , i am very imagintive but in the same time i dont let my imaginary life effect my real life ( i hope u understood xD ) i am a very contradicted person i dont understand my self smtimes , like for example i love girly shit like fashion makeup and am obsessed with women magazines and shopping , when i cant sleep i log into beauty and fashion websites BUT there is no better girl than me to take with you camping and watch football with , i eat anything i can be put anywhere and i dont complain or say i cant do something bcz of my hair or cloth or nails ,,, when its adventure time am a dude by all means ( and let me tell u , anything that dsnt include my parents is an adventure to me )

There are so many personalities in me that smtimes i dont know who i am, they say " you dont find yourself , you make yourself " but how can i make myself with so many opposing principles in me , am a very religious girl but am not religious at all i am a very nerdy person but u can hardly call me the nerd of the class i possess enough class and sass but am ur typical girl from the hood i adore old rules and traditions but i want nothing but liberty . no wonder i get along with many people ! i have jigsaw pieces that fits everyones puzzle but apparently i cant make my own puzzle .

i dont know who i am and i dont understand myself ,  i would like to know who i am and what i stand for , nobody can tell me who i am cuz most ppl only get to meet one of my personalities , i need to know who i am as a whole , and maby going to the USA will make me know myself , because when put in a hard and a different challenging situation , one knows from what he is made  off and i hope am a real diamond not a fake one .
-KISSES

Hello again...

i knw i didnt write for a long time but lifeee took me awaaaaay xD well actually i thought no one reads my blog and there is no use , then huda reminded me abt my blog ( THANK YOU LOVE !) and she said she likes it :O and then i remembered why do i write..i write for myself i write because i dont know how to speak my feelings  so i write them and here i am writing to myself again ..... BLESS ME!
 many things happened but the most important thing is that i changed .. am more mature now i think before i act i choose my words before i speak but to be honest i hate it . i hate feeling responsible i hate not being able to be random but most importantly i hate not being able to make ppl smile more often and i hate not being there for people and i hate hate hate knwing that am hurting ppl but i have far more important stuff to do than mend peoples heart ..but ill change , cuz i think that i became this person cuz i dont write anymore , all those negative feelings bottled up in me that need to be let out , my soul became heavy and am not free anymore i am held by my own feelings its time to set myself free.

there are many things that i want to talk about , one post cant contain them all but ill be writing soon cuz am bored in my summer job so stay tuned for posts everyday i guess ..maby twice a day .
- KISSES